6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

Wow! We are getting into some tough stuff, huh?!

Thinking back to the hardest thing I have ever experienced took a lot for me.

I have a tendency to compartmentalize. I almost look back at my life as chapters in a book. I kind of feel like this is a result of moving and changing so much in my younger days. It seems like it is easier to face change if you can view it as closing a chapter and starting a new, not ending something. The bad thing about that is, just like when you read an actual book, I rarely go back to those chapters and go over all the details. I can remember the highlights and how they got me to the point where I am now, but that’s about it.

At this point, I’m wondering if any of that makes sense to you. I hope so.

Ok, on to the real story…

David and I got married in December 2004. David had gone through the Police Academy and all of his training while we dated, so I went into our marriage knowing full well that he was a deputy and what all that entailed. I knew it was dangerous. I knew that bad things could happen to him. I also knew that I could not dwell on all that. There is too much to worry about, and there really is no point in doing that. We have always trusted that this is the path that God has chosen for him, and God would not let anything happen to Him that He did not allow.

A few months after we got married, I called David when I was leaving work to see when he would be home for dinner. David told me that he was at the hospital with someone he had arrested earlier that day, and he would probably be a little late. This was not uncommon, so I went on home and took my time before starting dinner.

Closer to 7:00 (David’s normal time to get off work), he called back to let me know he would be even later and to go ahead and eat without him. Again, this was not very uncommon. I went ahead and ate and carried on with my evening activities.

A few hours later David called me to let me know he was leaving the hospital, stopping by the Law Enforcement Center, and then would be on his way home. After that he added…”I guess I might as well go ahead and let you know what happened today. Don’t freak out…” (YEAH RIGHT!!)

He then went on to tell me that earlier in the day he had gotten out with a man who was walking down the road with a knife. The man had cut himself and was threatening to hurt other people. As David approached, the man turned on David with his weapon, which then turned into a fight. David, of course, won the fight, but not before the man was able to scratch David. Since this man had been cutting himself, his blood had gotten on David during the fight.

David took the man to the hospital to be checked and treated for his cuts. David was also treated and soon learned that the man had tested positive for both Hepatitis C and HIV. Because of the close proximity of the fight, the scratches, and transfer of blood, they immediately ran some tests on David and started him on some prophylaxis medicine.

This was what had been taking all afternoon/evening.

David assured me that he was fine and would be home soon.

I remained very calm throughout the conversation that we had on the phone, but quickly lost it as soon as I hung up. All I could think about was how different our lives would be if he tested positive for either of these diseases. I thought of the changes in our married life. The possibility of having children would be lost. There would be extensive testing and treatment. Would he even die from this?!

As you can imagine, I was scared to death. I was angry. I was sad. I was confused.

Those feelings were magnified when David called back a little later to let me know that another deputy was going to bring him home since he wasn’t in good enough shape to drive. I didn’t know what to expect or how I should act when he got home.

I finally cried myself to sleep on the couch, only to awaken when a car pulled into the driveway a few hours later. The deputy and his trainee (welcome to Law Enforcement!!) helped David into the house and began to tell me what the doctor and pharmacist had told them. He unloaded a bag full of pills and tried to tell me what each pill was for and when to give them. While David was in the bedroom getting undressed and ready for a shower, the deputy began to tell me about side effects of the meds. One in particular caused hallucinations. He told me that I should hide all of David’s weapons so that he did not hurt me, himself, or someone else if he did have one of those hallucinations. Then, they left.

Seriously?! Hide his weapons? Hurt me? Hurt himself? Hallucinations? HIV? They just left me? WHAT?!?!?

While David got a shower, I gathered his weapons and laid them out on the kitchen table. Hand guns. Shot guns. Bullets. Knives. A Taser. Most of them I knew how to use, but did not know how to unload. As I stood there staring at the weapons trying to figure out what I should do, I heard David laughing in the bathroom. This wasn’t his normal laugh. It was a weird giggle laugh. I went into the bathroom and asked him what was going on. He looked at me, still laughing, and said, “The water’s hitting me all over!”

Ok, if I wasn’t freaked out before, I was now!!

I went back to the kitchen and started grabbing weapons and hiding them – in kitchen cabinets, under the mattress in the guest room, in linen closets, under the couch. *This would make for a good laugh later when I started to retrieve them, but I was SCARED that night!

We made it through the night. David slept like a log. I, on the other hand, didn’t sleep much at all.

The next day involved going to see an infectious disease doctor. He was very informative and very helpful. He told us, based on the situation, David’s chances of contracting either disease were very slim, but there would have to be a year of testing his blood and taking meds to make sure. Thankfully, he told us that continued use of the “crazy medicine” was not necessary at this point. He still had to take a handful of other meds that would continue increases his body’s chances of fighting off any infection, but should not have any of those hallucinations.

Every month for three months, David had his blood drawn. This was a big deal because David HATES needles and blood. After he was clear on the third month, they extended the next visit to six months after the accident. At six months, he was still clear. His last testing was a year from the accident and he was CLEAR!! They had told us that clear after three months meant he would most likely be ok, but after a year, it was a definite.

Thankful is an understatement. I can’t even begin to express how we felt after that long year.

Although I felt in my heart that everything would be ok in the end, it was still a very scary time. I knew that I had married David “in sickness and in health” and nothing would change that, but it was scary to think of what our future could hold. It was hard to see him taking all those pills and suffering some of the side effects (mild compared to that first med!). It was hard to see him getting stuck all the time. It was hard to encourage him when I didn’t know how to.

Thinking back over my life, I have had some difficult times. I know, however, that my difficult times are nothing compared to most people’s. Truthfully, when I think about friends and family that I know have faced much harder things, I am almost embarrassed (although incredibly thankful at the same time) that my life hasn’t been all that tough.

I know some of you could share stories about losing parents, children, spouses, and friends. Some of you could share about disease that have affected you or your loved ones. Some of you have stories of tragedy and loss that I cannot even comprehend.

I am thankful that through it all, we know who holds the future! It is much easier to face those hard times knowing that we have a Strength that fights for us and helps us!